Monthly Archives: June 2013

The Great Withering-Excerpt From Spiritual Memoir

By trusting that I was capable of being this new person I began to create an entirely new foundation for my existence.  I realized that I was being viewed by something far smarter than me and much more capable of unconditional love. Not only was I not being judged, I was being instructed to put down the whip. I could not heal what needed to be healed if I was going to pick up the whip and hit myself over the head with it when I saw what needed to be healed. I began to earnestly seek help from Spirit to put the whip down every time I felt my wounded-self reach for it. In this process I began to understand that my old fear-driven tools for living were actually diminishing from lack of focus and use. I began to call this process the Great Withering.

I constantly checked in with myself and in doing so I noticed a very important change. I found that the “I” that was checking in with myself was becoming a different “I.”  This new “I” was ever so slightly, becoming a different “I” in that it had within its character an immense capacity for overlooking my foibles and missteps.  It was not nervous that I was going to “get it wrong.” It did not project into the future all the things that could go wrong and explore the many ways that troubles would fall onto my path.  This “I” was less attached to the outcome of things. There was wisdom in its very core and love was projected from that core. Yes, I felt that love. I was no longer alone. I had something Unseen and magnificent on my side, and the slow dawning of this realization lifted the weight of my life from my shoulders and began to clear my mind in ways I did not previously know was possible.  I “knew” I was on the right path. I knew I was being assisted and that this assistance originated from something that had my best interest at heart. It had always been so.

©Vickie Spray 2013