Monthly Archives: January 2014

After 14 Years of Writing! Rose Painted Waters Is Available! Found in Healing Products

Rose has been born into a crazy family. Her Dad drops a barrel of fried chicken onto the plywood kitchen table on his way to the tv after work Monday through Friday and then drinks for most of the weekend as a reward for his labor. Her Mom drinks as well and pill pops as a way to cope with five children and an unhealed heart. She offers Rose little in the way of motherly guidance and what she does offer often does not prove to be useful. Her four brothers are whirlwinds of dysfunction and angst. But an impromptu and nearly disastrous road trip provides Rose with a dream of becoming a mermaid like her aunt who works at a Florida tourist attraction. She believes this might get her out of the small world of chaos and working-class poverty.
But there is a small problem. Her Mom’s dependency on alcohol ruins the chance for Rose to establish a peaceful life. Rose is uprooted again leaving her Aunt Jackie and the only chance she feels she had to become a mermaid. Rose and her brothers are driven by her angry and dazed mother to a dilapidated hotel with a missing H and this becomes a launching pad for Rose as she discovers she has had enough and she must do something about the way her life is headed. She steals two of her mother’s beers, thinking this is where courage is found and heads for the woods. Her wits and her yearning to overcome her lot in life propel her to keep trying to better her situation, no matter how many obstacles she must overcome. But the world can be a scary place and family members are not the only crazy people in the world. Rose discovers that she might have to swim through the mud before she can dart through the clear waters of her dreams.

HEAL THYSELF

     Free yourself from weight of all those heart-shields. They are heavy and pull your chest down to your belly as you get older. You were born into a dysfunctional paradise.  You have jounced with mean people who were clueless of their own magnificence and you fell hard onto the ground of sadness. Their stable assuredness convinced you, as you picked yourself up from a new disorientation that they knew something about you that you did not and so you became afraid.

     You became afraid of your own magnificence. You have remained small to spare yourself from having to walk upright with your heart open. Crumbs from the table of love litter the floor of your past. Your life, in its thousands and thousands of joyful moments do not reach into the depths of you because you are afraid. You are afraid to risk finding out that the mean people were correct. You really are not up to the game. You really are lacking in your ability to be your unique and screwy self. They were tall. They were sure of their opinion and they were right.

     They are right if you make them right. Their dysfunction becomes your dysfunction. Their unhealed life becomes your unhealed life. What if there is something inside of you that has never been negatively affected by anything that has ever happened to you? You have seen that in others. You have heard some people’s horrible stories of abuse and neglect and how they then served to create a powerful voice for the weak and unprotected.  They had something in them that would not allow the undesirable experiences to create undesirable qualities within themselves.  They did not layer their hearts with protective shields of fear in order to keep themselves safe. They recognized that they, the they of who they really are, could not be sullied or damaged by anything done to them.  That something that these people have, that something that helped them to transcend meanness and neglect, is in all of us. It is simply waiting for our focused attention.      

     We deserve to live light lives open and unencumbered by the heavy weight of false stories. The true story of our lives is within us. It is the story of pure grace and loving power. It is a soul story that knows it is infinite and able to rewrite each tier of our lives. It is reliable and sturdier than our deepest fears. Our fearful minds, the part of us that made up the lies so that we might remain safe can become a tool for our soul’s intent.  Our minds can be a place where soft reflections create a life walked in peace out and away from the roar of a fearful world.  By choosing to heal, we join our will to our higher mind.

We can reconnect to our bodies, falling again in love with our feet like we did as children, our hands like we did when we first discovered their usefulness and our sexuality when we first knew the power of true intimacy.  We can choose to heal ourselves so relationships feed the members of that relationship, helping each of them to blossom into who they have come to this earth to become.  We can choose to heal ourselves because we owe it to ourselves to allow that inner light to have its full expression. There is a paradise within each of us and our attention is the sun that draws it fullness out into the open.  In this way the world evolves into its own possibility.