Human Warrior

Human Warrior-Sept 7

My friend Robin calls her the warrior self. It is the part of my psyche that rushes to guard me from those things and people she perceives as potentially harmful. Her purpose is to protect me from anything she senses might be a threat. The thing is, besides the normal dangers of dark alleys and scary drivers on the interstate, any movement on my part toward the wide yonder of promise brings her out in full force. The unknown is a huge threat and she must keep me from it at all cost. There is no telling what might happen in the unknown.

She runs to the front and stations herself between me and the threat the minute she senses my move toward an unknown direction in my life, no matter how glorious and promising it may appear. I can be feeling hope, wonderment and joy at a new prospect for prosperity and fulfillment and she obviously feels like all of these emotions must be shut down and rearranged into a blockade for the sake of safety. I am often filled with joy at the possibilities of my life’s journey! My life is so full of promise right now but little is known about the practical manifestation of that great promise. These very feelings of expansion with the unknown possibilities in the horizon call out my warrior and she runs positioning herself strategically between me and those possibilities.

Her stance is strong and secure after many years of protecting me from the messes I have walked toward and into in the past. She stands there, steady and strong between me and whatever that future possibility might be. She is very, very good at her job. She has kept me out of danger on many occasions. In the past, my hurt self was drawn to people who were living from their own hurt places and we fed each other’s pain but I was never devoured. She was there. She is fast, efficient, and a powerful foe.

Her inability to discriminate between threat and possibility is becoming a liability to my dream of living my full potential. Any movement from the still waters of lived experience into unlived experience is a threat to her. She effectively shuts down my forward movement toward my purpose. I have said I want to live fully without reservation and I want to live by my Spirit. My Spirit moves toward amazing people, places and yes, unknown possibilities, and here she comes, ready for battle. My Spirit, at that moment stops its movement toward great promise as it never will trespass against the choices of my will. My warrior stands there on duty until all feelings of forward movement halt and has steadied itself back into the safety of known-ness. My Spirit rest in a respectful position of acceptance until it is time to try and fulfill its purpose. I am left watching all this with growing frustration.

I have begun the process of interceding. When my emotions expand into the joy of possibility, which is her alarm bell, and I feel her running toward the front of me as my great protector, I place my hands on her shoulders and steer her back to me in a place of acceptance and trust. I direct her to stand there and watch my Spirit take us to the new places of our potential. The Spirit of ourselves is leading both of us into that new place and it can be trusted to take us safely and gloriously into the open and thriving field of destiny. It is here that I have wanted to reach and she has served her purpose very well indeed. It is time now for her to integrate into the safe place of Me. Her job is done.

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