Tag Archives: Healing

Who Knew?

wise womanMy path has lead me to the part of Me that is hidden and infinite. The identity of the me that I know disappears and is being replaced by a timeless force. I become less afraid and more assured. I can trust this quiet power. As whoo whoo as this sounds even to me, I can not help but allow it to swirl inside of me.

If I believe there is a spiritual force beneath the activity of human life and if I believe that every human being is able to tap into that force, then I would be remiss to not explore the possibilities that this belief creates. I have found, when I can stop for a few seconds throughout my day and breath in and breath out (sometimes just in two conscious breaths!) I am again aware of my full connectedness to this spiritual force. I feel peace and I feel the wholeness that some of the great spiritual teachers over the centuries said existed. I get this just by stopping, and being still for a few minutes each day. The desire I have for a peaceful life is fulfilled in these moments. The wisdom and insights I receive in these moments are added gifts that amaze me.

It is free. It is infinite. All I have to do is remember to do it and I am doing that more and more.

I am beginning to understand more about how it all works. Each time I stop and acknowledge that I am a Human Being who is connected to the Spiritual Universe, I live from a place of spiritual connectedness. I am “in the flow,” as they say. I can feel the unity. I rest within the easy system of unhindered life. I am a part of it and somehow know that I will always be a part of the energy that knows no bounds. I am beginning to recognize this connectedness as part of who I actually Am. I am beginning to live from THAT identity. Right now, I am doing this for moments in my day. I see though, how this could grow into longer moments. I see how it is possible to have an entire day that has me walking on this earth living a fully human life as a spiritual Being who knows her true authentic Self.

Copyright 2010
Vickie Spray

All human life is some part failure and some part achievement. Dalai Lama

blog achieve
When I look back on my life, I see a woman who has failed miserably on many occasions and achieved huge steps toward living a loving and authentic life on many other occasions.

Most of my failures, in my mind, stem from the pain I have inflicted on others. I still sometimes cringe from the memories of hurting some of the people who entered my journey. There have been a hundred hurts and a thousand regrets. Many choices were made from fear. I made choices influenced by fear of myself, fear of others, fear of the future, fear that the past would irrevocably harm my future and fear that there is not enough me, enough love and enough time. I admit my failures freely.

And if I am to evolve into the person I came onto this earth to become, I will learn from the pain I heave caused others. I will use each painful infraction, no matter how big or how small, as a way to deepen my love for myself as a spiritual being and to expand my love for others as they move in their own journey as spiritual beings. I will seek forgiveness from those I have hurt and forgive myself in the absence or presence of their ability to forgive.

Most of my achievements stem from my compassion toward my human journey. When I apply compassion to my life, I can see a woman who was afraid but courageous and a woman who might have been weakened by the lack of emotional tools but buoyed up by her insistence to flourish. This choice to apply compassion to my life’s walk has assisted others in their walk. I have, by virtue of being a human being seeking a full spiritual Self, given inspiration to other human journeyers. My achievements are a part of my human life. I gladly accept that I will continue to fail and that I will continue to achieve.

Passion to Write

writing blogMary brought the lap top to me first thing this morning. Her face was determined and she was in deep thought when she reached me. She brought it to me because I have begun to write again and she wants to support my passion.
It is this passion that has not allowed me to forgo writing even when the hopes of making a living at such an endeavor appears reserved for a very few people. It is this passion that guarantees there will be a pen in almost every coat pocket I own. It is why I have scraps of writing in file cabinets, file folders, unmarked manila envelopes, and tossed haphazardly in my junk drawers.

My passion creates a piece of writing worth publishing just often enough to fuel the desire to write again. It helps to have Mary to remind me that putting ideas, thoughts and stories on paper that someone may consider enticing enough to read is an honorable way to spend one’s time and energy. It may even be virtuous.
And so I have a book I am attempting to get published and I have begun a memoir. The book is a spiritually modern Daily Word sort of approach for abused women. The title is After the Abuse-Your Spiritual Self.

I have wanted to write a memoir forever but could never find the right tone that could convey a lighthearted approach to a serious life. I found the tone somehow and am writing it in earnest I have discovered a fabulous editor who relieves the pressure writers often feel when they write as I know she will catch the blunders and this helps my creativity to live. I need her!

I have known a number of people who give up on their writing and I understand why this happens. Some give up on it and they manage their lives just fine. Others though do not do very well. Writing is an intricate part of who they are and discarding writing is disastrous to their passion for living. I shudder with the realization of how close I came to letting go of something I have loved for so long.
Copyright 2009
Vickie Spray

After the Abuse-Your Spiritual Self

The following words consistently nuzzle themselves into the soft acceptance of my awaiting Spirit. Some have found a permanent resting place. These words have assisted me on my return journey toward my Spiritual Self with the reminder that there was never a disconnection, only a belief of a disconnection. Apply what your Spirit guides you to apply. Your Spirit can be trusted.

After the Abuse Blog

The purpose of this blog is to further open the ancient channels within you. Those channels lead to the holy place of your Being. It is that place within you that has remained untouched, unharmed and pure in its goodness. Nothing that was done to you or said to you has reached this place of completeness. Nothing you have done or said to yourself has had any influence on that interior place of faultlessness. It is from that place that all healing will flourish. It is from that place that your truthful insights, your right choices and your desire to heal, originate. It is from that place that has propelled you toward your authentic self. It is from that place that invited these words to reach you.

Though the channels that lead to that place deep within you have been blocked with pain, guilt, confusion and rage, you have worked to clear them and have succeeded, at times, in tapping into Source. You have glimpsed the glory of your true nature. You have heard the whisper concerning your greatness but can not contain that possibility, though you are close to being able to do so. As you become more in tune to who you really are, your ego will not hijack your Spiritual insights and turn them into puffed-up knowledge. As you risk living with the peace that resides within you, you will not fear your mind’s tendency to pillage that peace. You seek freedom from experience-induced beliefs and you have that freedom. You crave relief from a haunting past that continues to hinder your movement toward your purpose and your potential. That craving comes from that place within you and will continue to nudge you toward that unmolested place of serenity.

Your doubts concerning your worth, the blaming voice that convicts you, will be transformed into a new knowledge of your true nature. The channel to your divinity has been blocked by beliefs. That wedge between your hurt, human self and your divine self can not be sustained after you have reached this place in your journey. The force of your desire to heal will shatter the beliefs that have kept you safe but in pain, protected you, but kept you imprisoned, and lolled you asleep while life implores you to live.There is a free and unblocked journey in front of you. You want it. You have wanted it for a long time.

You have dared to open yourself to the possibility of Spirit while living in a world shut off from that place of love and power. The thin veil between the world of flowers and the world of Spirit is becoming thinner and your pain has allowed you to glimpse the joining of the two worlds. Trust your inner Spirit to know what is right, what is true. You can. With practice, the inner turmoil of your past can act as a gate that takes you to the place of your soul. You will remain there for longer periods of time. You will learn to reside in a place of true Self that is bolstered by the force of life, unstoppable and pure in its purpose. You walk from a place of knowing. Your decisions and the choices you make in your daily life will come from the solid place of knowing that you know. The knowledge of your absolute connectedness to all things will slip from the muddy waters of your beliefs into the charted center of your Being.

Sometimes it is by walking on the edge of death that awakens a human to the Spiritual realm of their true nature. Sometimes it is sickness, or a divorce, or the loss of a child that acts as a precursor to surrender to the Spirit’s nudge toward aware connection. Suffering abuse can take you to that place of surrender. Abuse forces you to discover your honest assessment of yourself. It leads you to an incorruptible appraisal of your belief in a Higher Power. Abuse will tear down the world you built to keep you safe from uncertainty. It will rip apart the world built on the shaky ground of your illusions. Your Divine human Self will raise itself from the ashes of your uncertainty and you will see the truth of your rightful place in this Universe.
Copyright Vickie Spray © 2009