Monthly Archives: August 2009

I Keep Thinking about Beliefs

Beliefs at First Glance

Beliefs at First Glance

I keep thinking about beliefs. I am amazed at how powerful they are to our individual journey and our collective journeys. A belief can create road blocks and instantly dissolve walls of resistance. Beliefs can fan a life of joyous living or pummel our emotions toward despair. One belief about myself can make the difference between a happy life time or a life tinged with regret, sadness and guilt. Just one belief can create a relationship or break a relationship. Beliefs can nurture an awareness of my authentic SELF or it can erect a thick wall between who I am and who I believe I am as a human being.

Beliefs are what we cling to when our world becomes frightening and unmanageable. When our attempts to control our universe by worry, projection and distraction, fail us, we will kick into the familiar place of beliefs even if those beliefs make us want to eat more, drink more and suffer more. Hell can be made comfortable by our beliefs. I will stay at this job because I can not make it out there on my own. I will hide my talents because people will scoff at them. What other people think of me is more important than who I know myself to be on this earth.

The one belief that feeds most of the pain that I have experienced and witnessed is our belief of unworthiness. It is an old battle for many of us. It is, however, easily understood. We are spirits who come into human form and discover very quickly the hindrances of that human form. Our spirit, which is connected to Source and the stark juxtaposition of what the spirit cares for and what human flesh cares about is disorienting. That difference between what spirit is and what human flesh is, creates a fear of unworthiness that shuts out and shut down that connection throughout our lifetime. We disappoint and get disappointed almost the minute we pop out of our Momma’s because our spirit knows what is possible while humans live from a place of belief concerning their human limitations.

Spirit is love and acceptance. Human form is afraid it will not have enough of what it needs. Spirit knows it is eternal, human form knows that the flesh is temporary. Spirit knows that all things work out for the purpose of the greater good. Human believes that we must control and force our will onto our short-sighted outcome. Spirit knows that nothing can separate us from Source. Humans fear that a belief, wrong decision, or human frailty will divide us from the love of I AM.

What if each of us became aware of that spirit within us? What if we allowed that spirit to have more influence in our walk on this earth? What would happen if we surrendered the belief of unworthiness and fully embraced who we are as spiritual beings in human form? What if the human condition became influenced by Source instead of feeding upon fear of the human condition?

From what I have seen so far, is that when I give over to spirit, my beliefs dissolve and then are reformed into a knowing. This knowing is peaceful. This knowing is not contingent on mood or anything that happens in this world I live in. It is the peace that surpasses all understanding and is steady-still in the midst of an earthly storm. It is where I want to reside.

We Need to Tell Our Stories!

lilly So a part of my new life as an entrepreneur involves interviewing and videotaping stories of motherhood, childhood, parenthood, livelihood, and everything in between. I love finding out how a person has moved on the paths of their lives. What did they do at a certain cross road in their journey? What are some of the funny things that happened to them as children or with pets or with friends and lovers? What stories have never been told but need to be told? What kinds of challenges were met on that path and how were they handled?

I love asking the questions that help people remember the significant events of their lives. Some of the interviews I do are around the area of trauma and healing from that trauma. I always walk away from these interviews amazed by the strength and courage of humans. As a writer, I have written some of my story so I know the importance of telling it and having it known.

After the interview I create a DVD of the interview and then my client uses it for whatever purpose it was created. They have it to give to their children or keep it for their young children to have when they get older. In the instance of trauma stories they watch it with me or with their therapist as a way to reclaim their own lives and their own stories. The process is remarkable! Why aren’t people doing this? Why aren’t therapist doing this? It is documented history of lives lived. These are just regular folks with human stories of adoptions, crisis, healing life changes, marriages, illnesses, and accomplishments.

The stories of our lives are interesting to other people and we are interested in other people’s stories. Stories of people’s lives are what novels, movies, plays are all about. Our children want to know about our lives and we want to know about our parents’ lives. How did they end up being our parents? What is the long story behind our birth? What is the long story behind the birth of your child?

We think we will remember. We think we will write a book “some day” to document the history of our parents’ lives and our own lives. It isn’t true. We don’t do it. We want to. We say we will, but we do not do it

The Chains of Belief

pondThese were all good children, just of the ordinary peasant type; not bright, of course—you would not expect that—but good-hearted and companionable, obedient to their parents and the priest; and as they grew up they became properly stocked with narrowness and prejudices got at second hand of their elders, and adopted without reserve; and without examination also-which goes without saying. Their religion was inherited, their politics the same.- Personal Reflections of Joan of Arc-Mark Twain

If I am going to quit work that makes me unhappy and open myself up for the possibility of living my full passion, it now appears necessary to examine some of my beliefs around work, money and time. I am surprised by this, but I have discovered that old views about work, time, and money reside within me like goblins that suck the juice of my creativity, leaving me dazed and confused. I have carried them with me unexamined, unchallenged and accepted without review.

I am not required to clock in anywhere so my time table for getting things done are mine to decide. I find myself justifying if my work load for that day only required a six hour commitment by defending my previous ten hour day. To myself! If I believe that time is money, then by watching the birds at the bird feeder and contemplating my relationship to those birds, I am wasting time and I am wasting the potential for making money. There is ALWAYS something I could be doing to generate some income, so shouldn’t I always be doing something to that end? I SHOULD be making money during the daylight hours, so taking a nap, that amazing regenerative tool I have always used on weekends, is out of the question. I must examine my beliefs as they invade my moments of peace and moments are all any of us have to live fully.

The voices of what a REAL work ethic looks like — nose to the grindstone, nervous energy, and constant attention to using my time to make money, are surprisingly loud and daunting. Sometimes, they paralyze me and then my time is truly wasted as I certainly can not see the birds through a fog of should do this and should do that at that point.

This has been an unexpected challenge and on some days it is overwhelming. Other days, I acknowledge that I am on a great and worthwhile adventure. I oftentimes come upon quiet lagoons full of peace and rightness. I rest there and remind myself I have done a brave thing. I am living an act of self-love and self worth and the benefits of this choice are many as they live within my movement and within these moments. They live within those hidden lagoons I had suspected were waiting for my arrival. My suspicion is that there are many life-changing benefits ahead, for me and the people this dream brings into my path and whose path I enter as well. There is the benefit of now and the benefit of what is around the next curve on the path.

So we have all heard the quote from Socrates that the unexamined life is not worth living. But my life is proof that an unexamined life CAN be lived. That is the way I lived most of my early adulthood so I happen to know that it can be lived. None-the-less, he had a good point. If I am living an unexamined life, my beliefs about time, work and money will dictate how I handle all three and my interactions with others, how I treat myself and the people I love, and my relationship to the earth I live on. Belief is the engine that runs everything. I t is deeper than intention as the belief creates the intention. So much of the pain I have caused others and so much of the pain I have received from others could be traced back to beliefs. They can be parasites or they can be life-giving energy.

My personal beliefs about money, work and time can cause havoc on my peace of my mind and ultimately affect how smoothly my dreams leave the ground and fly on their own. If I believe, for instance, that this process must be hard then it will be hard. If I believe that my worth is measured by how I make money…then, well my worth will be measured by how I make my money. It seems pretty simple really and yet I carry within me beliefs that are now influencing this new life of mine. It seems to live a dream, one must, in the process of allowing that dream to fly, discover the beliefs that may be tugging at the wings of that dream. And so I will. And so I am.

From where I sit and write this I can see the red bloom of the knock-out roses, the pink of the crepe myrtle and purple of the butterfly bush. There is also the red on the bottle brush and new color of red-orange on the lantana that Mary just put in the front yard next to the fringe tree. In the distance, beyond the arbor, I believe I am seeing the faint whitish color of Mary’s roses. I did not know her roses would be blooming! I think I will walk over to that area of the yard to see them! It is Saturday, so it is ok if I go play in the yard some to day.