A Journey of Surprises

Blog aprilI would not have imagined that my life would have taken a turn toward installing raised-bed organic gardens for people. I thought that my path would follow the healing arts, writing and the self-help energy that is now so gloriously pervasive in western culture. I thought that because I was passionate about being on a life-fulfilling journey, having overcome familial pits of fate and having developed a love for other people’s journeys, that I would find a service niche which would fill my life with purpose.

I had thrown myself onto the mercy of the Universe and the Universe responded by being quiet when I desperately needed a response and speaking when I was in a place to listen. I learned that though I thought I knew the Universe was on my side, I did not really believe it. I learned that I actually believed the Universe was against me and was undermining my efforts. It was a deep-seated belief that has previously sabotaged more than one of my endeavors.

I am not sure where that belief came from. Perhaps I accepted on a deep level, the Christian tradition that says humans arrived here on earth as sinful beings who must then have a beloved child of god die to have those sins washed away. Humans are bad from the get-go and to glean the favor of God is tricky business and subject to the moods of his vengefulness. Perhaps it was being born into the culture of man where fear and insecurity usurped our Spirit’s words of comfort that made me slowly agree that the Universe could not be trusted. The Universe was not on my side.

Strange that I thought I had examined all this before and had breathed in the parts that fit my deepening relationship to Spirit only to discover that I have layers of harmful and derailing beliefs stored inside of me. It appears that when a human decides to jump out of the circle of safety, she is likely to find a net that does not support her deepest assumptions. But, if she holds on to the hope of discovering a true relationship with that singular force of energy she has called God, she is likely to discover the beauty of her Spirit which surpasses all understanding.

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