The Chains of Belief

pondThese were all good children, just of the ordinary peasant type; not bright, of course—you would not expect that—but good-hearted and companionable, obedient to their parents and the priest; and as they grew up they became properly stocked with narrowness and prejudices got at second hand of their elders, and adopted without reserve; and without examination also-which goes without saying. Their religion was inherited, their politics the same.- Personal Reflections of Joan of Arc-Mark Twain

If I am going to quit work that makes me unhappy and open myself up for the possibility of living my full passion, it now appears necessary to examine some of my beliefs around work, money and time. I am surprised by this, but I have discovered that old views about work, time, and money reside within me like goblins that suck the juice of my creativity, leaving me dazed and confused. I have carried them with me unexamined, unchallenged and accepted without review.

I am not required to clock in anywhere so my time table for getting things done are mine to decide. I find myself justifying if my work load for that day only required a six hour commitment by defending my previous ten hour day. To myself! If I believe that time is money, then by watching the birds at the bird feeder and contemplating my relationship to those birds, I am wasting time and I am wasting the potential for making money. There is ALWAYS something I could be doing to generate some income, so shouldn’t I always be doing something to that end? I SHOULD be making money during the daylight hours, so taking a nap, that amazing regenerative tool I have always used on weekends, is out of the question. I must examine my beliefs as they invade my moments of peace and moments are all any of us have to live fully.

The voices of what a REAL work ethic looks like — nose to the grindstone, nervous energy, and constant attention to using my time to make money, are surprisingly loud and daunting. Sometimes, they paralyze me and then my time is truly wasted as I certainly can not see the birds through a fog of should do this and should do that at that point.

This has been an unexpected challenge and on some days it is overwhelming. Other days, I acknowledge that I am on a great and worthwhile adventure. I oftentimes come upon quiet lagoons full of peace and rightness. I rest there and remind myself I have done a brave thing. I am living an act of self-love and self worth and the benefits of this choice are many as they live within my movement and within these moments. They live within those hidden lagoons I had suspected were waiting for my arrival. My suspicion is that there are many life-changing benefits ahead, for me and the people this dream brings into my path and whose path I enter as well. There is the benefit of now and the benefit of what is around the next curve on the path.

So we have all heard the quote from Socrates that the unexamined life is not worth living. But my life is proof that an unexamined life CAN be lived. That is the way I lived most of my early adulthood so I happen to know that it can be lived. None-the-less, he had a good point. If I am living an unexamined life, my beliefs about time, work and money will dictate how I handle all three and my interactions with others, how I treat myself and the people I love, and my relationship to the earth I live on. Belief is the engine that runs everything. I t is deeper than intention as the belief creates the intention. So much of the pain I have caused others and so much of the pain I have received from others could be traced back to beliefs. They can be parasites or they can be life-giving energy.

My personal beliefs about money, work and time can cause havoc on my peace of my mind and ultimately affect how smoothly my dreams leave the ground and fly on their own. If I believe, for instance, that this process must be hard then it will be hard. If I believe that my worth is measured by how I make money…then, well my worth will be measured by how I make my money. It seems pretty simple really and yet I carry within me beliefs that are now influencing this new life of mine. It seems to live a dream, one must, in the process of allowing that dream to fly, discover the beliefs that may be tugging at the wings of that dream. And so I will. And so I am.

From where I sit and write this I can see the red bloom of the knock-out roses, the pink of the crepe myrtle and purple of the butterfly bush. There is also the red on the bottle brush and new color of red-orange on the lantana that Mary just put in the front yard next to the fringe tree. In the distance, beyond the arbor, I believe I am seeing the faint whitish color of Mary’s roses. I did not know her roses would be blooming! I think I will walk over to that area of the yard to see them! It is Saturday, so it is ok if I go play in the yard some to day.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *